I have it worded like this so far;If you prefer to contribute to Michael's college fund in lieu of a gift you may on XYZ Bank, account # QZXWe are a close family, but still I dont want to seem like we are inviting them to his party so we can get money and gifts 
It's a great idea, but badly done.Just ask that, instead of giving gifts, you and your husband are building a college fund for your child and would appreciate monetary gifts instead, if any gifts are being given. The best way to do this is to tell your mother or his and have them spread the word for you, so you don't have to do it and sound tacky.
